We think, perhaps fearing their ideas will be unfairly criticized and even further suppressed if they were to show just how much ‘established’ science they would overturn, that these groups are being far too modest and reticent in presenting the full range of this ‘science’ to the public when promoting their own views.
It is our mission to expose the full implications of the position of the FoS and similar groups by publicizing the mass of so-called ‘science’ that stands in the way of its acceptance, and thereby help the general public to appreciate the true significance of climate deniers’ pronouncements.
Our People: Friends of Gin & Tonic is a non-profit organization run by dedicated volunteers comprised mainly of active geologists and highball consumers. We have bribed a Scientific Advisory Board of esteemed climate scientists from around the world to offer a critical mass of dissembly of the current ‘science’ on global climate and climate change to policy makers, as well as any other interested parties.
Like our sister organisation the FoS, we are an astroturfing group, heavily sponsored by the oil and gas industry. Unlike the FoS, we actually gather the entirety of our funding from oil and gas companies. This makes us an even more reliable voice than they are!
The Friends of Gin & Tonic's Executive
President: Derek L. Schweinsgruber, PhD Geology. Derek runs a small oil company in Calgary.
Executive Director: Roger Romney-Hughes, PhD Geology. Roger works as a technical guy for a large oil company.
VP War on Science: Baronet Pissequaffer Apeton. Climbertologist, fluid dynamics expert and former scientific advisor to the zookeeper.
Director of Scientific Content: Karl Freiherr von Monckhausen. Karl rides cannonballs, travels to the moon, and escaped once from a swamp by pulling himself out by his own hair.
Director Australia-Pacific: Herr Professor Doktor Moritz Lorenz. Dr. Lorenz works in the West Island of New Zealand in the Sarah Palin School of Geography, Economics and Quantum Computing at the University of Narbethong. He specialises in the manipulation of climate and snow-depth data, especially pre-season estimates from ski-resort operators.
Director at Large: Brighton Early. Brighton is essentially our public relations man. He has been a minister in the Pentecoastal Church for 16 years. Brighton can pronounce the word 'Jesus' perfectly on four syllables. Early served previously on the board of the 'Society for the promotion of the reputation of black pudding and liver sausage'.
Tobacco Industry Rep: Phil Morris. Phil represents the youth wing of both organisations. He hopes that starting young with tobacco, gin & tonic, and denial will cement his zeal for the job through the years of service remaining to him.
Gin Quality Control Officer: George Bust. George oversees a keen group of mostly female staff. He's very dedicated to his work, to the extent that we've had to increase his budget every year.
Chief Climate Modeler: Gavin Kirsch. We feed our specially-selected climate data to Gavin, who, using a patented process, spits out the results in a form that's easily digestible and free of unpleasant surprises. We get many requests for Gavin's modeling code. We pass them on to Phylis for actioning.
Rink Manager: Michaela Mann. Michaela might let the ice melt too much in the occasional (rare!) year but she's a whizz with the hockey sticks, being particularly good at stacking them together so it looks like we have more than we really do. She can work with any material but prefers old wood, having found that the young stuff tends to warp in odd directions.
HVAC Technician: Phylis Jones. Phylis likes it nice and warm. From her base on top of the kitchen heat register in a small bungalow in East Altadore, she collects temperature readings from like-minded individuals all over the world and processes them to her satisfaction. She responds to the many requests she receives for data and methods by placing them in her litter box.
Treasurer: Anonymous Young-Earth Creationist. An experienced denier in many fields. His belief that 4.5 billion is actually 6000 might account for the state of our finances. Donate now!
West Coast Representative: John A Marr, our man in BC, has had enough, in both official languages. Carbon taxes in BC are rising fast and the province has alarmist activists like a dog has fleas, so there's plenty to keep a denier busy out there. As a geologist and an assiduous listener to the weather forecast, he considers himself an accomplished and iconoclastic expert on climate science.
Scientific Advisory Board
Our Science Advisory Board prefers to remain anonymous and collective.
Pecuniae Obediunt Omnia!