Our Mission:
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We seek to inform the public of the findings of a handful of amateurs of unrivalled capability (but almost no ‘formal’ climatological expertise) that utterly undermine the so-called ‘scientific consensus’ that the planet is warming and that people are causing it. This ‘consensus’, the biggest scientific fraud in history, has been foisted on a gullible public by a politico-scientific elite intent on a single world government with themselves, via control of the United Nations, at its head. Exercising merciless control of the scientific literature by requiring that published work be consistent with such piffle as observations, physical principles, and mathematical models, this evil clique tries to suppress the promulgation of any alternative view. Small fringe groups like our sister organization the Friends of Science are thus reduced to using right-wing blogs, opinion columns of like-minded newspapers, and guerrilla publicity stunts at international meetings to promote their message.

We think, perhaps fearing their ideas will be unfairly criticized and even further suppressed if they were to show just how much ‘established’ science they would overturn, that these groups are being far too modest and reticent in presenting the full range of this ‘science’ to the public when promoting their own views.

It is our mission to expose the full implications of the position of the FoS and similar groups by publicizing the mass of so-called ‘science’ that stands in the way of its acceptance, and thereby help the general public to appreciate the true significance of climate deniers’ pronouncements.

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We also intend to promote the appreciation and consumption of gin & tonic, despite the hardships attendant on this in Alberta. Like the truth about climate, gin has a hard time gaining acceptance
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in a place where bad rye rules: it’s never promoted, you never see a lot of the better stuff, and if you decide you want the best, well, you’re going to have to pay for it. Eventually, we hope to illustrate the parallels between our two 'raisons d'etre' by demonstrating that the Earth’s climate system is far better represented by half a glass of gin & tonic (with ice, plenty of bubbles, and a slice of lime) than by the overpriced computer models constructed by bloated organizations like NASA. Encouraged by the recent success of the friends-of-our-Friends McLean, de Freitas & Carter – showing that occasionally, the True Word can slip past sleeping editors into the corrupt, stinking morass of the peer-reviewed ‘scientific’ literature – we intend to submit our results to Journal of Geophysical Research. Currently, however, we remain in the data-gathering stage.


Our People: Friends of Gin & Tonic is a non-profit organization run by dedicated volunteers comprised mainly of active geologists and highball consumers. We have bribed a Scientific Advisory Board of esteemed climate scientists from around the world to offer a critical mass of dissembly of the current ‘science’ on global climate and climate change to policy makers, as well as any other interested parties.
Like our sister organisation the FoS, we are an astroturfing group, heavily sponsored by the oil and gas industry. Unlike the FoS, we actually gather the entirety of our funding from oil and gas companies. This makes us an even more reliable voice than they are!

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The Friends of Gin & Tonic's Executive

schweinsgruber President: Derek L. Schweinsgruber, PhD Geology. Derek runs a small oil company in Calgary.

headExecutive Director: Roger Romney-Hughes, PhD Geology. Roger works as a technical guy for a large oil company.

intelligence-officer VP War on Science: Baronet Pissequaffer Apeton. Climbertologist, fluid dynamics expert and former scientific advisor to the zookeeper.

munchausen Director of Scientific Content: Karl Freiherr von Monckhausen. Karl rides cannonballs, travels to the moon, and escaped once from a swamp by pulling himself out by his own hair.

moritz Director Australia-Pacific: Herr Professor Doktor Moritz Lorenz. Dr. Lorenz works in the West Island of New Zealand in the Sarah Palin School of Geography, Economics and Quantum Computing at the University of Narbethong. He specialises in the manipulation of climate and snow-depth data, especially pre-season estimates from ski-resort operators.

Brightonsm Director at Large: Brighton Early. Brighton is essentially our public relations man. He has been a minister in the Pentecoastal Church for 16 years. Brighton can pronounce the word 'Jesus' perfectly on four syllables. Early served previously on the board of the 'Society for the promotion of the reputation of black pudding and liver sausage'.

tobacco-industry-rep-2 Tobacco Industry Rep: Phil Morris. Phil represents the youth wing of both organisations. He hopes that starting young with tobacco, gin & tonic, and denial will cement his zeal for the job through the years of service remaining to him.

george-best Gin Quality Control Officer: George Bust. George oversees a keen group of mostly female staff. He's very dedicated to his work, to the extent that we've had to increase his budget every year.

Cherry-ChomperChief Climate Modeler: Gavin Kirsch. We feed our specially-selected climate data to Gavin, who, using a patented process, spits out the results in a form that's easily digestible and free of unpleasant surprises. We get many requests for Gavin's modeling code. We pass them on to Phylis for actioning.

michaelamannsm Rink Manager: Michaela Mann. Michaela might let the ice melt too much in the occasional (rare!) year but she's a whizz with the hockey sticks, being particularly good at stacking them together so it looks like we have more than we really do. She can work with any material but prefers old wood, having found that the young stuff tends to warp in odd directions.

Fil_1 HVAC Technician: Phylis Jones. Phylis likes it nice and warm. From her base on top of the kitchen heat register in a small bungalow in East Altadore, she collects temperature readings from like-minded individuals all over the world and processes them to her satisfaction. She responds to the many requests she receives for data and methods by placing them in her litter box.

VP-war-on-science Treasurer: Anonymous Young-Earth Creationist. An experienced denier in many fields. His belief that 4.5 billion is actually 6000 might account for the state of our finances. Donate now!

marrsm West Coast Representative: John A Marr, our man in BC, has had enough, in both official languages. Carbon taxes in BC are rising fast and the province has alarmist activists like a dog has fleas, so there's plenty to keep a denier busy out there. As a geologist and an assiduous listener to the weather forecast, he considers himself an accomplished and iconoclastic expert on climate science.

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Scientific Advisory Board

Our Science Advisory Board prefers to remain anonymous and collective.




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Pecuniae Obediunt Omnia!